Autumn is almost officially here in Western, NY, which means my preferred lifestyle of cafe-hopping and latte-drinking is at its peak. Prior to settling into Five Points with my laptop and a sweet chai, I had a meeting with some clients to go over the design of their annual report, which is probably one of the only face-to-face client interactions I’ll get this week; I am reflecting on that reality now as I send follow up emails.

The the one thing I am not sure anyone prepared me in self-employment for was the loneliness - a strong word, but maybe the closest one - of working for yourself. While the highs are pretty high (no stinkin’ boss to complain about), the quietness can feel low at times (I can’t complain about my boss to anyone).

Last summer, I taught some private lessons to a retired couple, who also happened to be business owners in their heyday - there is an excitement in speaking with other folks who are or were in the same boat as you - about the joys of having no one manage you. "I don't report to anyone, and I love it," I had told the husband over a pot of coffee he had graciously made for the three of us, after conquering their first lesson in charcoal. Like clockwork, they both chuckled while they shot each other a knowing glance. "Well, that's not really true," he responded, "you just answer to your customers now."

That statement stays with me regularly as I interact with the folks that support and follow me on social media, as I think it is usually the easiest answer for communicate my business hapennings; while I try my best to interact with my peers there, it often feels like a one-way conversation (not their fault, mine - I gotta answer those damn DMs better). As a big ole fan of Miley Cyrus, I will quote her recent Billboard interview, where she explains her reasoning for quitting stadium tours: "singing for hundred of thousands of people isn't really the thing I love...it's so isolating because if you're in front of 100,000 people, then you are alone." I am not trying to compare myself to the great All-American Pop Star behind Hannah Montana, but her words come to me occasionally in small moments, like when I throw a cute poll up on my Instagram stories. After one tap to mark their opinion, folks are literally gone in miliseconds.

I attempt to combat the stereotypical image of a couch sitting, antisocial WFH-er in a few ways - by alternating true work from home days with library ones, meeting with vendors in person, and thinking of myself as a perpetual student, always learning and changing. However, it takes a good amount of continuous physical and mental effort to do these things, and I miss the professional, collaborative energy of my old office jobs (gross!). I did, after all, go to school for Communication. A bitch loves to communicate.

I would love to know from my fellow full time small business owners, or even others who simply work from home, on how they find calm in their solitude, because I definitely don't have an answer yet. For now, I will tap on my little computer and enjoy this pumpkin cream cheese cookie.

-Akasya